There’s a dark and scary question that many prefer to avoid yet I’ve found that its answer isn’t as terrifying as we may suspect. “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” is a thought we generally avoid addressing. Why would anyone want to think about life this side of heaven becoming worse than it already is? I know I didn’t – until I had to.
Earlier this year, my one year old daughter had a fever. Normally, such an occurrence wouldn’t be of grave concern to me but this bout of illness coincided with the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic in the United States. Each day her fever lingered the embers of the fear in my heart were stoked. The knot in my stomach grew as our search for a reliable thermometer waned and ultimately failed. Left with a janky hospital thermometer stuck reading temperatures in Celcius, and a baby whose health didn’t seem to be improving, I found myself unable to avoid thinking about the worst that could happen.
What if my baby died? I know that children are a blessing (Psalm 127:3) but not a promise and neither is tomorrow (James 4:14). How would life go on without her here? Like any parent, I did not want to imagine how hopeless my life would feel if either of my children lost theirs. I received great comfort and compassion for these cares from a Parent who’s experienced the pain that, thankfully, has found its limits in my imagination. It was by asking that dark and scary question that I realized the worst thing that could happen to someone already did when Jesus died on the cross bearing the weight of sin and death.
My darkest days here don’t have the final word because it was already spoken by Jesus when He said, “It is finished” (John 19:30). Come high-water, since hell will never be the reality for those who have placed their faith in Christ, we are not a people without hope. Evil continues to consistently affect our sin stained world but its days are numbered (Acts 17:31). The dark events that are currently happening are ultimately moving history forward to culminate, for the Christian, in a world free of pain, mourning, and death (Revelation 21:4). The evil we are presently enduring pales in comparison to the glory that will be revealed to us on that wonderful Day (Romans 8:18). Regardless of whether or not my fears become my reality, I can rejoice with hope that, like Jesus, is unchanging (Hebrews 13:8).
On my darkest days, I’m content to ask with the Apostle Paul, “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:32). Paul’s argument from the greater to the lesser demonstrates that since God has already provided for my biggest need in Christ, He is more than capable of caring for me in areas of less importance and, He does so graciously! His payment for my sin came at the expense of His only Son and has afforded me benefits beyond belief (Psalm 103:2-5). Should my worst fears be realized, I can be content regardless because He is with me (Psalm 34:7, Hebrews 13:5-6) supplying the strength I need to faithfully endure (Philippians 4:11-13).
As I write this, morning dawns and I can hear my one year old waking and calling, “Mama!” My mind flashes back to that scary season of sickness and my eyes fill with tears as I recall the joy of discovering virtual pediatric urgent care. Speaking with the nurse that day revealed that my daughter had a mild viral infection. She made a full recovery when I began giving her the correct dosage of medicine (my fearful mind had been mixed up and I had been giving her too little). I’m comforted knowing that, were the outcome of her illness not favorable, I would not be without hope. Were our story to result in us walking the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I’m at peace knowing that it’s a place of comfort (Psalm 23:4) extended to me at the hole marked hands of a great High Priest (Hebrews 4:15-16) who experienced the worst thing that could happen so I will never have to.
Sickness I’m certain to encounter again and darker days are the reality for us sojourner saints (1 John 16:33, 2 Timothy 3:12). Realizing that the worst thing that could happen to someone already did compels me not to spend my time fueling my thoughts with fear but by consuming them with thinking about what is worthy (Philippians 4:8). Ultimately, Jesus.
