The Worst Honeymoon of All Time

Rest, romance and relaxation – this is typically what comes to mind when we hear the word honeymoon. For my husband and I however, it was a different story.

Our wedding was AWESOME! We had the best time celebrating our marriage with our closest family and friends by our sides. We were super stoked to be going on a 4 day cruise to Ensenada for our honeymoon as it was the first time cruising for both of us. We packed our bags and headed to Long Beach, California where our cruise ship would depart.

 

 

We finally arrived and were waiting in line a white shaped dome that looks like the Epcott center when I began to tune in to some of the conversations around us. I heard some young men talking about how much alcohol they were going to be consuming throughout the trip.

 

I also noticed that the majority of passengers who would be cruising with us were college students. I did the mental math and realized that college students + conversations about alcohol consumption
could only equal one thing:

Spring Break. 

 

That’s right friends. My husband and I inadvertently took a booze cruise.

 

Once we finally got on board, we were excited to see what our room would look like. I was thinking it would basically be a hotel room on a ship. What we walked in to was a closet room that was the size of our apartment kitchen.  It had 2 twin beds pushed together leaving maybe a foot of space surrounding each side of the bed – not quite what we had in mind. 

 

We were thankful that we were finally married and able to go on a cruise so we decided to overlook the small room and headed to our fancy dinner. It turns out, when you book a cruise and pay for the fancy dinners, you actually get assigned seating (just like in high school). 

 

We were assigned a table with an engaged couple who seemed fairly normal and two married couples. One of the men made awkward remarks throughout our meal, making it uncomfortable for everyone. When we were the first people to leave the table, he said something along the lines of,
“Oh, there’s the newlyweds making a quick exit.” 

 

 

We enjoyed the rest of our meals at the buffet which was my husband’s favorite part and I have to admit I was kinda partial to it too – after all, who can say no to FREE ice cream 24/7?

 

 

Our first night on the cruise we had drunk college kids running through the halls and blasting music right outside our door. I totally laughed at my husband when he told me he was going to call security because these “kids” (who were just a few years younger than us) were getting out of control.

 

I stopped laughing when he finally did call security at 10 PM and we learned that they were closed. 

The next day we stopped at Catalina Island. I was super excited because it was my first time visiting there even though I had lived in Southern California my entire life. We didn’t spend too much time exploring the island because my husband was anxious to participate in our first excursion – parasailing.

I agreed to participate because I love my husband and I wanted to start off our marriage serving him. I HATE heights and actually had a panic attack while we were waiting our turn and while we were in the air. One of the bonuses of the parasailing was that for an extra $30, you could have the boat drivers take your picture during your adventure.

 

Since my husband LOVES all things adrenaline related he thought it would be great to purchase the photo package so we could remember it forever – and believe me, we will. 

We continued our cruise to Mexico and when we first arrived in Ensenada, boy was I excited. It was my first time being out of the country so naturally, I checked Google Images to see how awesome Ensenada would look. I couldn’t wait to see what I thought was a beautiful resort town. Derek and I took an excursion that included a tour of the city and making authentic Mexican food with a chef. Our tour bus stopped on the same street as the restaurant where we would be making our food and we were told that we had a few hours before we would be heading back to the ship.

 

Once we made our food and the excursion concluded, we decided it might be fun to explore the city.

Boy was I wrong. 

The street we were dropped off on consisted of mostly bars where men were standing outside trying to get us to buy their $2 beers. I’m not against drinking beer but I do have a hard time trusting folks when I’m in another country and I feel like I’m being hustled. There were at least a hundred college kids from our cruise though who decided they couldn’t resist the offer. As we walked down the street it was basically like we were walking through a high school prom except outdoors in broad daylight.

There were also multiple pharmacies on the same street in which the “pharmacists” were encouraging us to come in and have a look around (most drugs don’t require a prescription in Mexico – yikes!).

We also received an offer to take a photo with a baby lion.

Derek wanted to jump right in on that one (since apparently it was for a “good cause”), but I reminded him that we didn’t know where the lion came from, they didn’t have it contained in any way, lions are wild animals, we were in a foreign country, and we didn’t currently have health insurance.

He agreed that a photo with Simba probably wasn’t the best idea.

What really broke my heart though was seeing impoverished moms with young children trying to sell various items to tourists. I had never seen anything like it before (okay, so maybe I’ve been a little sheltered). I was so uncomfortable with everything going on that I asked Derek if we could sit on the tour bus and just wait until it was time to head back. He agreed and although the bus was pretty boring, we did get some great selfies out of it.

 

When we finally arrived back in Long Beach after a long four days, I think we both came to the conclusion that cruising is not for us.

Although we had an interesting experience, we always joke about how we want a re-do. Our marriage, I’m sure like most, did not start off with rainbows and butterflies.

However, we can both say that we love each other more now than we did when we were first married.

And that, to us, will always be worth more than even the best of honeymoons.