This post contains affiliate links
One Month Update
I can’t believe our sweet Ava Joy has already been with us for one month! Time sure does fly when you’re having fun (or maybe when you’re just plain tired). She certainly lives up to her name as she brings us much joy each day. We were concerned about what the transition to a family of four would be like for Addie but she simply adores Ava. There is no shortage of kisses and snuggles for “baby
What If?
Ava was due on Thursday, February 7th. Since Addie arrived a few days prior to her due date, I expected that Ava would do the same. I’ve had many people tell me that the second baby comes sooner and faster. While I knew those things to be generally true, I knew I must also hold my expectations loosely. As February 7th approached and it didn’t seem at all like Ava was going to make her appearance any time soon. I began to grow discouraged. I had been having contractions sporadically. Each time they began, I hoped they would stick around and it would be the real deal. Weeks leading up to my due date I began taking Red Raspberry Leaf Tea capsules daily. I took two a day once I was 36 weeks and four a day once I hit 37 weeks. I also began taking one Evening Primrose Oil capsule daily. I had heard that these things could contribute to early/fast labor. Since my labor with Addie lasted over 24 hours, I was willing to give them a try. However, they didn’t seem to be taking effect. On February 7th, I did what no pregnant woman wants to do, and attended my 40 week appointment. At that point, the doctor made an appointment for me to be induced the following week. While I was disappointed, I also didn’t want to stay pregnant forever. I know that’s not an actual possibility but that’s how I felt at the time. Throughout the day I had contractions on and off. While some were stronger than others, it still seemed like nothing consistent was happening. I did have lots of back labor but even that was inconsistent. Around 4 in the afternoon, Derek and I decided to head to the hospital to see if I was actually in labor. Just before we left I called my doctor’s office to let them know I was en route to the hospital. I started crying when the nurse I spoke with informed me that my favorite doctor was on call that evening. I wondered if it was the Lord’s plan for me to have Ava that evening since it would mean so much to me for my favorite doctor to deliver her. It’s funny to think that we had to stop and get gas on the way to the hospital – a sure indicator that we weren’t super prepared as this wasn’t our first child. Once we arrived at the hospital and checked into the Labor and Delivery unit, I was really discouraged as the nurses I initially encountered didn’t seem to be taking me seriously. I thought for sure my fear of getting sent home for lack of labor was going to be realized. Derek began saying, “What if. . . ” but I asked him to refrain from completing that thought as it wouldn’t be helpful for my heart. I told him since the “What if” wasn’t true at the moment, I was going to trust God and we could make a decision about the “What if” if it came to that.
I Don’t THINK, I KNOW!
The nurses checked me in and checked with my doctor as to how they should proceed with me. At this point, I was dilated at a 6 still without consistent contractions so the doctor had me walk laps around the floor for an hour to see if I would dilate further. After only thirty minutes, a sweet old nurse with a British sounding accent had me sit back down due to some concerns about Ava’s heart rate. I felt like this nurse was the first one to take me seriously and she was so gentle and sweet. She had me rest and then I was finally able to get a room for delivery. Once I was in my room, my nurse arrived along with a medical student who was learning alongside her. I was a little nervous to have them tending me since they were so young but they were extremely professional and treated us with the utmost care. I’m so grateful that they were by my side through the entire process! At that point, my doctor had come in and asked me if I would like to go home or have my baby. I was pleasantly surprised that she would let me be the one to decide and I informed her that I would like to stay and have my baby. She decided to put me on Pitocin to make my contractions consistent but prior to doing that, I had to have two rounds of penicillin due to testing positive for Group B Strep (this is a bacteria common in the intestines of healthy adults but having too much of it could be harmful to the baby as they pass through the birth canal). Having the penicillin was unpleasant because it’s administered through an IV in the hand and has a burning sensation as its side effect. The nurses struggled to find good veins in my hands even though they told me that I had them. (Recovering from the bruises on my hands afterward was so painful and was surprisingly one of the hardest parts of recovering from this birth.) Once the penicillin had run its course, the Pitocin was administered and eventually, the doctor broke my water. At the conclusion of these events, I decided to get an epidural since the contractions were coming on strong. By this point, I was dilated to a 7 – the nurses were surprised that I went that long without an epidural but since I wasn’t having consistent contractions, I wasn’t in pain and didn’t feel the need for one. I was bummed to learn that the way the epidural is administered had changed since I had Addie. Rather than being able to push a button and have the drug come out whenever I wanted it to, it only came out every five minutes. You’d better believe I held my finger on that button until it released the next dosage! I also had to lay on my side and hold a large foam pillow type thing called a peanut between my knees. My nurse said that’s what contributed to me going from a 7 to a 10 so quickly. At this point, I remember it being really early in the morning, maybe around 4 something and I told Derek to call the nurse because I needed to start pushing. He called her and said, “Uh hi, my wife thinks she needs to start pushing.” I remember thinking, “I don’t THINK, I KNOW!” but I was having a contraction at the moment so I couldn’t yell that at him.
A Very Present Help
Once my nurse arrived, she told me we were going to do some pushes together and then she would call the doctor. I did just a few and then she told me to wait until the doctor arrived to do the rest. I was really surprised/grateful/relieved that it was just a matter of minutes before the doctor came in. Just prior to her arrival, the nurse had told me to stop pushing. I asked her how I was supposed to do that and she told me to take deep breaths, which helped. Once the doctor arrived and got situated, I pushed for 15-20 minutes stopping just before Ava was all the way out to pause and cry. I saw Derek looking at her and he began to cry and at that moment, I lost it. Through tears, I apologized to my doctor and the hospital staff telling them that I was just so excited. I’m sure they thought me some kind of crazy since I was taking my time. The moment they placed Ava on me was so sweet and one I’ll treasure forever. I was beyond grateful for God’s kindness of an easy labor and a delivery that didn’t result in this baby having to go to the NICU. Many of the aspects of Addie’s birth made it traumatizing for me and I’m deeply grateful for God’s care in alleviating those fears. His Holy Spirit kept me calm with His peace that passes all understanding. There were many times I was tempted to give way to fear but He helped me have self-control and a calm spirit. One verse I have been meditating on in this first month of having two young kiddos coupled with my husband working out of town is Psalm 46:1, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” I’m sure the trouble the Psalmists faced looked much different than my own but I can rejoice in knowing that it is the same God who helps us both. After experiencing the traumatic aspects of Addie’s birth and a year-long bout of postpartum depression, I went through a long period of being fearful about having more children. I was terrified at the thought of having to go through postpartum depression again and honestly, I didn’t know how I would survive if I had to. By God’s grace, I have only had one day that felt like that season. There may be more but now that I’m aware of what it is, I have been able to do some things to fight against it like taking my
