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My encouragement to you today and every day is to remember the singles in your midst. As today is Valentine’s Day, I think of my single friends who will endure what I did while single: The many social media posts exacerbating the sting of my hope deferred, the office talk of how everyone was celebrating with their spouse later (except me), and having red and pink everything thrown in my face while performing even the simplest of tasks like picking up my groceries.
There is much to be said for guarding one’s own heart against bitterness and discontent but my focus today is not there. After a recent conversation with a dear single friend, I feel compelled, on behalf of my single friends, to urge those of us who are married to not forget the value that our single friends contribute to our lives, communities, and churches.
I am thankful for the single young ladies who have graced me with their presence in my home this past year. While I typically have the mindset of being the older woman that Titus 2 mentions, I’ve actually been the one sharpened in many ways by these Godly young ladies. When opportunities to serve arise, these ladies are the first to volunteer. This group is faithful to pursue younger believers and encourage them in Christlikeness. They are kindhearted, faithful friends who love Christ and His bride and I’m afraid of what our churches might look like without their love and service and what my own life would be without their impact.
I’m thankful too for the guys who step up and serve in any way they can. I’m thinking of two of my husband’s friends who although they are further along in their singleness (mostly by the world’s standards), they have refrained from pursuing meaningless relationships. At a time when worldly pressure to do so is at an all time high, I’ve admired their pursuit of God and His will for their lives.
Considering the group of single friends I have, I realize this year that there are those who are experiencing the pain of singleness in different ways including:
• Being single longer than anticipated
• Hard and painful breakups
• Being divorced by a spouse for unbiblical reasons
• Feeling overlooked and undervalued
My hope as a married woman is that we will remember our single friends and care for them in a Christlike manner. Rather than encouraging them toward marriage and relationships, I pray that we will remind them of the best and truest marriage relationship, which Ephesians 5:32 reminds us, is between Christ and His bride, the church.
Everyone has been single at one point including Jesus, our great High Priest. He experienced singleness and its challenges on behalf of a sinful people that He would later die for to reconcile to Himself. Knowing that my Savior not only took the punishment for my sin but left His heavenly dwelling to become a man and experience the temptations of this life, on my behalf, was a constant encouragement to my heart in my own season of singleness.
Marriage, while a sweet blessing in this life, is not the prize.
Jesus is the prize.
May we seek to honor Him as we love our single friends today and every day.
“For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is his name;
and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called.”
Resources for Singles
Articles
What (Not) to Say to Singles – Mary Van Weelden
Podcast Series
Practical Counsel on Singleness
