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Dating With Discernment is a very helpful read for Christian singles navigating dating in the modern world. There were many aspects of this book I enjoyed and I wish this resource would have been available during my single years. The author, Sam A. Andreades, writes in a way that is biblical and wise. I appreciated that rather than manipulating Scripture to create prescriptive rules for dating, Andreades provides readers with the same freedom as the Bible and provides readers with many questions for consideration. The book does seem to have a complementarian tone to it and although I’m generally not a fan of either complementarianism or egalitarianism, the tone is very generous and gracious. Andreades did an excellent job of remaining biblically faithful.
One example of this is in how he writes about the division of labor in the home between a husband and wife and in how he addresses women working outside of the home. While explaining that many women prefer to be stay at home moms, Andreades acknowledges, ” . . . When you have children, your perspective tends to change. You develop a focus on the hearth. This draw does not prohibit work outside the home, as the Proverbs 31 businesses and charities and Paul’s word choice in Titus 2 acknowledge,” (pg. 180). I really appreciated this insight and wish this was something I would have understood in the earlier years of my marriage. I also really enjoyed the emphasis Andreades had on unity within marriages. It was neat to learn about how Aquila and Priscilla are described and to note Andreades’ observation that, “. . . the fact that biblical authors will only mention them together will only say that ‘they’ took Apollos aside and corrected him (v. 26), rather than just ‘she,’ suggests a co-mission together in their marriage,” (pg. 231).
Along with providing biblically faithful advice for dating, the book begins by acknowledging the hard but painful truth that dating relationships don’t always end the way we hope they do. Although this may seem like a discouraging way to begin a book on dating, I actually found it helpful. It seems that there is an unnecessary pressure on Christian dating relationships to always result in marriage and that is simply unrealistic. I wish I would have been more aware of this notion during my dating days but I’m grateful to Andreades for addressing it. The book also contains many real examples of Christian dating relationships that resulted in marriage and some that didn’t. It was interesting to explore these examples and consider the wisdom that could be drawn from each one.
Dating With Discernment is a helpful read and although I am married, I still found myself benefitting from the book. This is a resource I plan to have close at hand for single friends who are navigating the world of dating and looking for godly guidance. If you are a Christ follower navigating dating, I highly recommend purchasing a copy and considering the questions and content of the book as you pursue marriage.
I received Dating With Discernment compliments of Cruciform Press in exchange for my honest review.
