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About a year ago, I began reading Lysa Terkeurst’s book The Best Yes. I wasn’t too familiar with Lysa so I did some research and was disappointed to learn that her church permits her to have authority teaching over men, which I don’t believe to be in line with 1 Timothy 2:12 (please note, however, that women are called to teach women who are younger in the faith as commanded in Titus 2:3). My discouragement grew as I realized that her church also used her book rather than the Bible for teaching during regular church services.
With the release of Lysa’s latest book, Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely, I was curious to see how she would encourage readers to handle rejection Biblically.
Uninvited begins with Lysa telling the story of how she personally experienced rejection from her father as a child and how it impacted her as she became an adult. Uninvited is largely autobiographical with a bit of Bible sprinkled in.
Uninvited does contain some truths presented in its pages including, “He (Jesus) was betrayed, mocked, abandoned, beaten, crucified, and buried. . . His crucifixion on the cross became the defeat of death. His broken body became the resurrection hope for the world,” (pg. 175).
However, the bulk of this book leaves much to be desired when it comes to understanding how to handle rejection the way Jesus did and would. The tone of the book is saturated with feel-good, self-help advice. Uninvited seems to encourage Christian women to pull themselves up by their bootstraps rather than fix their eyes on Jesus (Hebrews 12:1-4) who Isaiah 53:3 tells us, “. . . was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces. . .”
An additional concern I have with Uninvited is that Lysa claims to receive direct revelation from God – “And that’s when a very clear sentence popped into my head. You aren’t set aside, Lysa. You are set apart. It wasn’t audible. And it wasn’t my own thought. I knew it was a thought assigned by God that I needed to ponder” (pg. 102). Although it is Biblically true that God’s people are set apart, in the sense that He has redeemed them for Himself, Lysa’s verbiage is troubling because it makes it seem as though God spoke to her outside of the Bible. Claiming to receive direct revelation from God is a problem that is all too common in Christian literature today, especially that which is aimed at women. Her statement made me think of multiple passages of Scripture that warn against adding to what God has said in His Word (Deuteronomy 4:2, Deuteronomy 12:32, Proverbs 30:6, Revelation 22:18). Although I don’t believe Lysa did that, I do believe it is very important to be careful with such wording.
Peter was a disciple of Christ and His close friend, the one upon whom He would build His church. Although Peter physically heard God, he still urged believers to consider Scripture more trustworthy than his experience. This same thinking should be applied anytime someone claims to receive any sort of revelation from God apart from Scripture.
These are some of the issues I had with Uninvited and therefore I do not recommend it.
I received Uninvited compliments of BookLook Bloggers in exchange for my honest review.
Thank you so much for reviewing this book! Unfortunately, I didn’t think to look at reviews before buying it. Could you suggest a better book that is along the topic of rejection? I struggle greatly with past rejection and had high hopes for this book.
Hi Amanda, thank you for reading my review and for commenting! I don’t typically recommend resources I haven’t read but I believe Shame Interrupted: How God Lifts the Pain of Worthlessness and Rejection by Ed Welch would be a good choice. Ed is a certified Biblical counselor and you can read some of his blog posts on the topic of shame/rejection here. I also recommend this blog post from Desiring God and this post from Revive Our Hearts. I’m praying that your heart will be comforted by God and that these resources will be of true help to you!
Excellent review, Lauren (and thanks so much for the link up and quote :0) The point you brought out about using multiple translations and paraphrases is an important one. I’ve seen many teachers and preachers do this because they’ve chosen a certain word, phrase, or idea for their sermon or book and they “translation shop” until they find a Bible version that uses that same word, phrase, or idea rather than simply using the most reliable translation throughout their teaching. This is a form of eisegesis, an unbiblical way of teaching God’s word.
Michelle, I’ve enjoyed reading your blog and I’m humbled that you not only read my review but have been kind enough to leave a comment! It is so hard to find theologically solid books, especially for women. Like you, I believe it is so important to thoroughly examine what is out there and warn my sisters. I completely agree about your thoughts on eisegesis. As a woman, I am tired of being asked what God’s Word means to me – I long to know what it says about HIM! I desperately need to be pointed to the good news of Jesus and the cross because my own heart is quick to forget who Christ is and what He has done for me. Thank you for being faithful to keep the truth of Christ as the foundation for all you do!
Thank you for your review – I now have three of Lysa’s books and to be honest, have not been as attentive as I should to what she’s teaching. I appreciate your thoughts, and after reading your review and other articles warning about her teaching, I have to admit I have a dilemma. A dear friend who I’m working through “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World” has given me this book and wants to study it next. I would rather do something more Scriptural (just in the first chapter of Uninvited I noticed a serious absence of Scripture), but I don’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings. She belongs to a Word of Faith church, also, and I haven’t yet found a good way or time to approach this error. Anyway, any suggestions? Thank you for your time!
Hi Linda, thank you for your comment and for reading my review, I’m glad it was helpful to you. Your situation with your friend is a tough spot to be in. I have been in similar situations with with Christian women I know and love and navigating through them wasn’t easy. As believers we are called to speak the truth in love as described in Ephesians 4:15-16 and it seems as though you have the perfect opportunity to live this out with your friend. I would pray and ask the Lord for wisdom before speaking with her. When you do speak with her I would encourage you to make your concerns known by humbly showing her how Scripture is at odds with the books she enjoys reading and teachers she enjoys listening to. These conversations are difficult and in my experience the key for me has been humility and having a heart of unity. I encourage you to be gracious as your friend simply may not know that the resources she relies on are not grounded in Biblical truth – for many years I was unable to discern truth and I am still in the process of learning how to do so. Ultimately the heart of relationships amongst believers is to sharpen one another (Proverbs 27:17) into Christlikeness and if our words are harsh, they stir up anger (Proverbs 15:1) rather than give grace to all who hear (Ephesians 4:29). A gentle answer, indeed, turns away wrath and it seems the most appropriate approach considering we are called to live peaceably with all as far as it depends on us (Romans 12:18). Know that regardless of your friends response, you are showing the ultimate form of love for her by telling her truths that are essential to the health of her soul. She may not appreciate what you have to say but ultimately we are called to obey God rather than man (Acts 5:29) and we can take heart knowing that God is pleased by our obedience and our eternity has already been secured by Jesus. I’m praying that your conversation with your friend will be profitable and for her heart to be soft toward the truths of Scripture. I’m praying also that the Lord will keep you from fearing man as I often do and will give you the boldness to speak the truth in love. Thanks again for reading and commenting, I really appreciate it! In Christ, Lauren
Hi, Linda! If you’re still looking for a different book to study with your friend, you might want to give “Attitudes of a Transformed Heart” by Martha Peace a try. That book is chockful of Scripture, so it sounds more up the alley you’re wanting. 🙂 Praying that you’ll be able to have those hard conversations with your friend and that she’ll receive it well.
Sitting in a full room of women arrived for first day of Uninvited.
I had never heard of Lysa.
THANK YOU for objective review.
I’ll be grateful to be the voice of truth.
Thanks for heads up.
Hi Lauren,
I searched for reviews of Uninvited, which I’m still reading, and found your blog.
Would you explain 1 Timothy 2:12? For instance, a famous, beloved Christian woman who has spent most of her life in a wheelchair spoke at the weekend services at my church about the meaning of suffering from a biblical perspective. Men were present. Was that teaching permissible, impermissible, a gray area?
Thank you. : )