A Way With Words Book Review

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A recent Amazon search brought to my attention A Way With Words: Using Our Online Conversations for Good by Daniel Darling. The title instantly caught my eye as interactions between Christians on social media, especially this year, have caused many questions to arise in my heart. I enjoy using social media and unlike many, I’m a firm believer that it can be used for redemptive purposes. However, I’ve often felt that I’m in the minority when it comes to the way I think about social media. I’ve wondered why it doesn’t seem that more Christians view it as a means of proclaiming the gospel and a catalyst for loving, what Darling refers to as, our digital neighbors. A Way With Words helped me work through my questions and brought so much clarity to my heart and mind. I couldn’t put it down and it is one of the best books I’ve read this year!

The book begins with Darling addressing the general lack of information discipline among social media users. Regarding this he wrote, “Paul was not against the pursuit of wisdom and knowledge. All over his letters, we see him urge people to study and grow and learn. And it is Paul who, nearing his own death, asked for someone to bring his books (2 Tim. 4:13). And yet he understood the difference between idle pursuit of cheap information and a lifelong commitment to wisdom. He committed to this discipline in his own life, telling the church at Corinth that he ‘decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified’ (1 Cor. 2:2).”

Darling urges Christians to use their online conversations to speak of the hope of the gospel and to honor God with how they speak as well as when. On page 39 he wrote, “Being slow to speak seems bizarre in a world that is quick to speak, in a world where we can press ‘send’ and let everyone know our opinions in a matter of minutes. But even though Scripture urges believers to, at times, speak out and to seek justice, it doesn’t ever say that we have to do so immediately. In fact, the Bible seems to counsel the opposite.” Building on this example, Darling explained, “We might think we are doing the right thing by speaking against injustice, but if we do this without having all the facts and spread misinformation, we are sinning. Even if we are doing it in favor of a right cause.” These words were both convicting and compelling and made me firm in my position to seek out the truth at all costs and to value the Truth (John 14:6) above all else.

A few pages later, Darling provided readers with some really helpful questions to consider when approaching online interactions. The questions are: “Am I commenting on this because it makes people with whom I disagree look bad? Would I have the same position if the person in this story were in my own ‘tribe’? Am I willing to comment on news stories that might provoke disagreements with those who are most apt to agree with me? (pg. 42)”.

A Way With Words explores concepts relating to online communication including discernment, media, tribalism, and conspiracy theories. I found the bit on discernment (pg. 56-57) to be particularly refreshing: ” . . . discernment is not an opportunity to show off our theological brilliance or to win arguments or to own somebody rhetorically. Discernment is not about proving our rightness or the rightness of our tribe. Paul tells the young Timothy that before he confronts someone who is in error he must confront his own soul, to ask the Spirit of God to discern his motives. There is a delicious temptation to approach doctrinal disputes, even genuine fights for the faith, with less-than-pure motives. Paul urges some personal diagnostic questions: Do I have a pure heart? Do I have a good conscience? Do I have a sincere faith?”

I’m generally not a fan of discernment blogs as they seem to make for lazy Christians which is why I’m grateful for the gentle reminder on page 59, “I think what separates Biblical discernment from what we often see online is love. Love motivates us to avoid offering critiques flippantly, without getting all the facts and understanding fully the position of the person with whom we disagree.”

The chapter discussing biting and devouring (Galatians 5:15) was peppered with more helpful questions. These include: “Is this conflict a matter of Christian orthodoxy or a matter of foolish controversy? (2 Tim. 2:23; Titus 3:9), Is what I’m about to publicly say, spread, or read actually true? (Phil. 4:8), Am I applying the law of love (1 Cor. 13:7)? What is my heart motive? (1 Tim. 1:5), Am I the person to speak at this moment?, Am I choosing my words carefully? (1 Pet. 3:15-16), Are we known for love for brothers and sisters in the Lord? (John 13:35).”

Perhaps my favorite chapter was Act Justly, Love Mercy, Post Humbly. This chapter addressed the growing trend of digital activism and reading it was equal parts convicting and refreshing. Darling wrote, “Social media often brings out our inner Pharisee. Every day, it seems, we are at our digital temples crying loudly, for everyone to hear, that we are so very unlike those other people. This kind of activism isn’t neighbor love. It’s self-love, a misguided quest for retweets and shares, the pursuit of digital approval. The truth is, we often mistake cathartic social media rants for real work. Christians should be outraged at injustice and use their voices on behalf of the vulnerable, but we don’t have the right to use them as outlets for our outrage and props for our personal identity crafting. This kind of activism is not only not what Jesus intends when he calls us to follow him into the world, it’s also highly ineffective in producing actual change. Do we really care about injustice, or are we only here to cheapen ideological points?”

In addition to providing an excellent and compelling treatise on best practices on social media use for Christians, Darling gives readers hope for their digital interactions by encouraging them to be a part of a local church. He said, “Church life, done right, helps us cultivate community, offline, with real people who are different than us,” (pg. 159).

A Way With Words was a refreshing and especially helpful read and I’m pleased to give it my highest recommendation. If you are a Christian who uses social media, even at the most basic level, I highly encourage you to read this book.